Faking it again

After having been a bit neglectful with scanning and uploading (and internetting in general) recently, now here you are: several new pages from the diary of a pubescent Ravenclaw brat.

(Btw: Alex, was that you, on April 19?!)

It's impossible!
The watch is gone! I KNOW
I put it on my bedside locker
next to that sock.
How can it just disappear?

I wouldn't think
my roommates are stealing
from me.
NOT a broken watch.

It was right here!

NOTHING
better for
breakfast

than toast with "Wacky Wocca's
chocolate" from
the tube. ♥

(total-tigernut flavor!!)

Last
Night
I won the
"Miss Cheesecake Award"
((weird dream!!!))

Whatever that means.
I bet Prof. Trelawney can make a
deathomen even
from THIS.

((Dream, sweet dream.))

Got an anonymus present today!
I haven't got a clue what
the hell it is, though.

Looks a bit like those thingies
our muggle neighbors put
in their box. Like the
photos in the newspaper but
with more action going on.

(maybe I can
ask them without
arising too much
suspicion...)

Guess what I found
on the ground
of Herbert's bowl?

How, by Merlin's beard, did
it get there?

I don't think goldfish
are known to steal watches,
are they?

(I'll ask Hagrid about that, just to be sure)

Poor Herbert.
Doesn't particularly look
thriving recently.

Rita, who is muggle-born,
showed me how to make
a dress from a piece of
paper.

She said her mum is an
"origami artist".

I bet mine could do
this too! ♥♥♥

Muggles do have their
own little magic!

Today is international
Lemon Drop Celebration Day.

I ate three boxes.

((OK. The former is a
lie.))

Today I met a lovely girl
called Astatine. She's a
Slytherin but very nice anyway.

She told me the name of that
cute blonde girl I like so
much (I think she likes her too,
a little bit): Luna Lovegood.

What a beautiful name.

We had a lot of fun, chatting
and playing chess all day
long.
She even let me draw her.
I'm glad she didn't
request to see the result, though!

(So sorry, Astatine! ♥)

You better love it

I made a card. You better love it.


Isn't everyone living with a cat familiar with this kind of generosity?

I made even more weird stuff today! Look:


Yes, it's an owl. Yes, it's totally useless. It hasn't got a keyring, it's too big to be a brooch, I forgot to sew a magnet in to make it a fridge magnet... So, it's an owl. Just because. I find it somehow comforting that (against my usual strivings) not everything needs to serve a higher purpose. An owl in itself. Almost zen.

You see, I'm really trying hard not to work on my thesis.

Some things annoying

It's been a while since I took an EDM challenge, so I thought it's high time. The current challenge (#269): Draw something annoying.
I had quite a few promising candidates for that one. However, we had a clear winner:


No, not my laptop (don't worry, I still love you, Vladimir darling!). I'm talking about my diploma thesis which I really should have finished by now (months ago, actually).

Also in the final round:

♠ Kneaded eraser under the fingernails
♠ Plastic wrapping that can't be properly opened without scissors (think cinnamon powder or rice all over the kitchen)
♠ Allergies
♠ Niffy armpits at (my) eye level in the tram
♠ A rightwing holocaust denier and an ultra-medieval homophobic terror catholic both seriously running for presidency in this country.
♠ ... (((and many more))) ...

OK, I promise I'll do a copious love list post soon to make up for all that grumbling...

Over the Top

Yevgenia of Watercolored Hands recently honored this nondescript little blog with the Over the Top Award!

I'm usually not a big fan of these chain letter thingies but I think this one is a nice opportunity to show my appreciation for some of my favorite inspiring blogs, since part of the deal is to pass the award on to five other people.
It was quite a tough decision (I preferred those who aren't too popular already), but here are my

top five:

♥ Pat of Austrian Tourist Office for depicting the darkest (open) secrets of Austrian society with unsurpassed (equally dark) humor.
♥ Miss Tukru of Tukru loves you because, seriously, she just rocks!
♥ Maren (aka Fraeulein Zucker) of Dear Diary; (even tough she already is very popular) because every single post on her blog just makes my heart dance.
♥ Alex of Weekly Art Assignment for his absolutely stunning artwork and unbelievably wide range of talents.
♥ Dragana of Dada's Place who probably already has thousands of awards (at least her wonderfully playful blog would deserve it).

The other "rule" is to answer the following 35 questions with one word. These are my (not so) thrilling answers:

1. Where is your cell phone? buried
2. Your hair? flames
3. Your mother? wacky
4. Your father? softhearted
5. Your favorite food? sapote
6. Your dream last night? mental
7. Your favorite drink? water
8. Your dream/goal? expansion
9. What room are you in? chaotic
10. Your hobby? infinite
11. Your fear? fear
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? wonderland
13. Where were you last night? screen
14. Something that you aren’t? serious
15. Muffins? crumbly
16. Wish list item? Lomo
17. Where did you grow up? one-horse town
18. Last thing you did? yawn
19. What are you wearing? stripes
20. Your TV? nonexistent
21. Your pets? imaginary cat
22. Friends? essential
23. Your life? construction site
24. Your mood? moderate
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? trusty bycicle!
27. Something you’re not wearing? pantyhose
28. Your favorite store? book-
29. Your favorite color? rainbow
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? dunno
32. Your best friend? several
33. One place that you go to over and over? Soos
34. Facebook? rarely
35. Favorite place to eat? Midori

Violins and sugar shock

This is what I wore last Thursday (seriously). It was the sunniest day after a way too long series of depressingly gray and rainy ones. I went to the luthier to bring back the two violins she had lent me to try them out. It was a tough decision which one to take. One was a Chinese violin in a nice red color, very shiny and new. And much cheaper (because it's a factory violin). The other was an old one that had been played with a lot, obviously. Somehow it had some kind of character and "life" in it. And even though it was almost twice the price (which was already "cheap" for it), I fell in love with it the first time I held it in my hands. So, yeah, I took it. I have my very own violin now! Yay!!

Just to celebrate this awesome day (which would be almost sunny if there wasn't that stupid plume from Eyjafjallajökull or whatever it is), another little nonsense scribble from last week:

Van Heavensong - A Herstory

Another six journal entries by Raven (who hasn't seen Indiana Jones' dad yet but is still keeping her eyes peeled in hope):

Today,
I took apart that watch
I found at the flea market.
I'm amazed at
how everything fits together so
perfectly.

One of
those
stupid
boys
hexed
my
shirt.

VERY FUNNY.
IDIOT.

Oh. My. Goodness. I actually met
HARRY POTTER
in the library today.
THE Harry Potter.

That is, if staring at somebody
from behind "Hogwarts - A History"
counts as "meeting" them. Probably not.

is this creepy??

In transfiguration, we had to
turn a button into a beetle.
I didn't get it... err...
quite right.

I still think it's unfair.
I should have gotten SOME points.

People.
So stupid.

Kevin swapped his
broken watch
for some candy.
Good for me!

Even though it's broken, I
love it. It's rather simple
but still mysteriously beautiful. I
wonder what it is that
replaces the "XII".

(around pocket watch:)
weird symbol
strange mirror effect
I'll try to fix it!

I went out sketching in the forbidden
forest today.
No idea what it was that I saw.
It was incredibly beautiful
and sort of frightening at the same
time, so I was
kinda relieved when it suddenly
disappeared in the underbrush.

I have a feeling someone's developing some serious pocket watch obsession...

News from Hogwarts

Here you go, the next five pages from Ms van Heavensong's diary. Enjoy! ♥

What I met in
the forest today
almost freaked
me out.
But it turned
out to be a
rather nice... err
person.

I showed it the string game
my mum once taught me
and it sang a song
for me in return.

I met her again today. On
the train back to school. I
don't think she noticed
me. It's amazing how
she manages to look so
stunningly beautiful even when
wearing the most ridiculous
clothes.

I guess it must be magic.
***

I often wonder what kind of
person my mum is. I don't
even have a proper
picture of her. I never know
what to write to her
in my letters.
I wonder if I'll
ever see her
again.

Maybe
she is
a reckless
dragon hunter.

What I really love about
nature is that one really
NEVER
runs out of freaky
things to discover.

or to draw.

I ♥ fleamarkets.

Life is good

♥ Looooove!!! ♥

Need I say more?

Well, yeah, one thing:
Squirrel princess hot chocolate is the unrivaled extremely most awesomest hot chocolate ever! ♥♥♥
And I'm in heaven because I found a few left-over boxes of the (one and only really squirrelly fantastic) phase-out version! I still can't believe they changed the recipe so that it isn't vegan anymore!! >__<#

*** I want to thank you for all your lovely replies to my last slightly confused post! I'm working on a follow-up post but need to organize my thoughts and somehow make them resemble reasonable sentences first. ***

Queer enough?

I just got an email from a friend mentioning that she somehow envies me for being lesbian, although she hopes I don't misunderstand her. I think I don't (I guess she wanted me to know that she doesn't mean to play down the struggle this personal "discovery" brought me). But seeing that word standing so close to my name reminded me of something that has been bothering me for a while. It reminded me of how odd this word still appears to me, of how little it feels like a part of my identity yet. Lesbian. Although, I know it theoretically only - and very accurately - describes which gender I feel sexually attracted to, it seems to contain more than that for me. I'm afraid it probably became a "box". Eew. Hard to admit, if you're a person who hates to be put in any box herself (without wanting to claim that these little bastards are 100% avoidable in this non-ideal real world). The problem, however, is not that I don't want to be put into this particular box, but that I feel I absolutely do not fit in it.

 
Let me give you two short examples.
Only recently, I went to see a film in the course of the Diagonale, the Austrian film festival. It was a documentary about the (in)visibility of lesbians in Vienna in the 50s and 60s, Verliebt, verzopft, verwegen (translated: "amorous, antiquated, audacious"). Apart from being a bit shocked that during years of research only three women were found who agreed to openly talk about their lives in a film (and all three of them were actors and/or politically involved, so they already were kind of "public figures"), I really liked the film a lot. And I really felt out of place. I felt like somebody cut me out of my usual social habitat and pasted me there in the middle of what one may be tempted to call a bunch of "stereotypical middle-aged lesbian couples" (with one token "textbook gay" commenting on their outfits in a high-pitched voice. Seriously.).
Another one:
I went out to my very first Rosy party with my sister and one of my best friends a few weeks ago. The location was jam-packed with all those hip and self-confident people. Most girls with very short, very stylish hair, fascinating outfit, shaking their hot bodies with admirable aplomb and having fun with each other. It was absolutely awesome, we had loads of fun dancing and enjoying ourselves. But again, to me it felt like we were having fun just next to that gay (pun intended) crowd instead of being part of it.
To cut a long story short, I feel like some kind of foreign particle in these situations, not really part of lesbian or whatever you may want to call it. I'm still struggling to find the words that can express what I feel, but I can't seem to find them yet. I'm asking myself: Am I lesbian enough to call myself one? Am I queer enough to be part of this subculture? How does "queer enough" look? Feel? What requirements are there? Does it really stop at sexual preferences? Will I ever find a word, a box, that feels adequate to me? And do I need to?

International Fake Journal Month

You may have noticed the new button on my sidebar. It is April, International Fake Journal Month! For full detail, please visit Roz' blog where she describes the whole project. Although, it's actually quite simple. It's basically a combination of challenging yourself a bit and having fun. So, I... err... found this journal and over the next weeks I'll share its little secrets with you. Here are the first few pages... (since the author's handwriting is illegibly minuscule I transcribed the words below the respective pictures)

This is the diary of Raven R. van Heavensong

I got myself some spectrespecs today.
They were free, coming with a
magazine I bought.

Actually, I think they're pretty
silly. Just bought that crap because
the girl selling them was
so freaking cute.

I wish I had an owl.

I've been in Hogsmead today and I
bought this hairclip. But it doesn't
stay in my hair. I think it's
too short.

I could write to mum!! (around envelope)

I want a pet so so bad. I
really hope dad will get me
one this year for Easter.

Today, I was absolutely fascinated by the huge fire and dad's fob watch. He says it's older than our family.

Seriously, a gold fish. A GOLDFISH!!...

I don't believe it! How can he
give me a goldfish for Easter?
Is he trying to get me bullied
or what? How uncool is that?

Oh, well. I named him
Herbert. I guess he won't deliver my letters,
though.